Fitting in’, a performance conducted as a part of an identity research. A mold created out of my figure in which I try to fit in.

‘Fitting in’
2020
4:47

Making art comes from my desire to be seen, heard and understood. The constant feeling of being an outsider to the space I reside in haunts me, therefore I’m attempting to find my position through making. When making I create a space in which I can be the most honest version of myself to others. I spend a lot of time observing, talking to myself, untangling the past, present and posing questions in hopes of finding the right answers. I transform my inner thoughts, memories, desires, questions, emotions into tangible existing physical parts of the world. In that way I can bring the inside to the outside to better understand what It means to be me. I’m the conductor in the search for myself, I want to be able to bend, shape, reduce, mold, create the world I reside in and invite whoever is present or willing to experience it. My urgency to understand and to be accepted and understood by others leads me to work autobiographically.

I gravitate towards material that has a transformative aspect to it, in other words a material I can change or control. The material is what carries the concept into the physical world, that’s the reason I take time to research all its properties in order to communicate my intentions as clear as possible. The search for myself never ends even when I consider my work to be finished, maybe thats why I feel this urgency, because the quest is never ending.

– Lakisha Apostel